FUTURE WALL TEXT FOR A MAJOR EXHIBITION OF MY WORK. POSSIBLY I AM A DEAD ARTIST IN THIS FUTURE. TO QUALIFY, MUSEUM MUST ENJOY INTERNATIONAL REPUTATION.
“Sam McKinniss is an artist, possibly one of the best, who has made some paintings and some photographs. This retrospective of the artist’s work, spanning some decades, shows the myriad ways in which he really got into doing his thing. His 'thing' seems to have centered around getting gay guys to hang out nude. He often just sort of sat around thinking about his lifestyle, however. (Side note: over McKinniss’s career, ample time was spent mulling over various lifestyle options, constituting a sub-career in and of itself, which actually another retrospective of McKinniss’s lifestyle is in pre-development.)
“McKinniss liked nothing more than to consider what it would feel like to fall down a flight of stairs after a violent confrontation but he ultimately made do with making a nice landscape every now and then. To understand this artist better, we have gathered a considerable number of pictures, and many of them are quite nice.
“McKinniss was eager to divide the entire world into two columns: things he hates; things he loves. For instance he loves Florida because it sort of resembles a dick. He hates Arizona for unstipulated reasons. In this sensual world of loving Florida and hating Arizona, well let’s just say he has taught planet Earth what it is like to love again.
“The curators have failed to note whether or not the artist is still alive, an oversight which we believe the arts press will have a field day with. Needless to say we are hoping for the best.
“The title of this show is ‘ARTS AND LEISURE’ for some good reasons, but largely in part due to the fact that it is difficult to decide which one of the arts we really like, and also leisure is a nice time to have in order to think about which arts are best. It is nice to lie down a few times a day.”