The Sexiest Artists of the 20th Century: Official List.

Compiled for the first time ever, this is a short yet comprehensive list of the sexiest visual artists of the 20th century. Candidates were evaluated for their sex appeal rather than their contribution to the history of art. This list has been decided through much deliberation by a group of attractive 21st century artists (a committee which I chaired,) who are sick and tired of art historians constantly avoiding the real issue: who's hot and who's not.

WOMEN

1. Lee Miller

2. Georgia O'Keeffe

3. Eva Hesse

4. Frida Kahlo

5. Valie Export

6. Cindy Sherman

7. The Gorilla Girls

8. Janine Antoni

MEN

1. Marcel Duchamp

2. Robert Rauschenberg

3. Ed Ruscha

4. Bas Jan Ader

5. Francesco Clemente

6. Robert Mapplethorpe

7. Jean-Michel Basquiat (with Madonna!!!)

8. Felix Gonzalez-Torres

Life is unbearable now that Wendy Williams is gone

As if we needed it, today I found a new reason to move far far away from this cursed ditch of a city. Ready for my morning routine I turned on my favorite radio station, Power 104.1, expecting to hear some R&B/hip-hop/throwback jams. Instead, I was shocked and utterly appalled to hear none other than Trent Reznor, the total fuck-up responsible for Nine Inch Nails. Thats right: FUCKING NINE INCH NAILS. Followed by RUSTED ROOT? WHAT?! WHAT?! Did I really need another station playing nothing but half-talented ugly white guys? I need to know who owns 104.1 immediately so I can contact him or her and get rap back or at the very least verbally berate his or her "good judgment." I think public humiliation is in order. I'd like to have the focus group responsible for this travesty hanged. I am so furious. I am already starting to miss Mia Mendez, the Back-in-the-Day Buffet, but most of all WHERE'S WENDY WILLIAMS?

Wendy Williams (pictured) has been the highlight of my work day for nearly three years. I listen to her while driving around making my rounds and her hilariously informed and irreverent gossip, wit, interviews, advice, and dishy conversation makes me laugh so hard. Wendy is a champion of gay gossip and media especially in the hip-hop community. For instance, recently she famously revealed a list of closeted high-profile entertainers nicknamed "the Swagger Club." When lame single teen-moms call up looking for advice, she tells it like it is with no sympathy. She does the same with deadbeat jail-bird dads. She is unmerciful and relentless when interviewing celebrities, no matter how beloved the guest is. She holds court in New York City at her flagship station WBLS, but she had national syndication at a few stations around the country, including the now mega-lame Power 104.1. She is not just a hot mess, she's a beautiful mess.

And I should probably also mention that I noticed the always-irritating local deejay Jenny Boom Boom on Hot 93.7 interviewing Ashanti at precisely the moment when Wendy should have been on the air at the former R&B competitor. This seems tidy if you ask me. Jenny Boom Boom; you will NEVER be as good as Wendy.

In unrelated party news, there are like, a million costume parties this weekend in Hartford and New Haven, including City Wide Open Studios in New Haven, where several friends will be exhibiting the fruits of their labor in an abandoned middle school including the brilliant Kevin Van Aelst and Bradley Dean. There is also an opening at Real Art Ways for the Shadow Show, a group exhibition featuring the work of Sam Ekwurtzel + a bunch of other people. Details of the various and sundry after-parties will be spread via word of mouth.

Make sure that you are at Alice's place on the 31st for pure devilish debauchery from the depths of glamor Hell. I believe it was Lindsay Lohan's character in Mean Girls who said that "Halloween is the only day of the year when you can dress like a slut and get away with it." I'm warning you now, I will personally be taking photos of the best costumes and outfits and posting them on my blog facehunter style on November 1st, so please dress to impress.

Northampton's Sid Vintage Spectacular

Just a week shy of the biggest party weekend of the year, I was expecting considerably less enthusiastic partying this weekend. As it turned out, however, everyone had gigantic loads of fun and cute boys and girls made eyes at one another everywhere. The highlight of the weekend was definitely Friday evening when Monika Polska, Erin Kenney, Chris O. and I shared a car up to Northampton MA and nearly died while driving through hazardous conditions. Sid Vintage's Spring 2008 collection runway show inspired our intrepid journey and thankfully we were not regretful. In fact, we were delighted as the night unfolded into a glittery exposition of Sid's tastes in retro fashions. The rather large crowd, even in such pissing weather, dressed for the occasion in some of the finest party regalia I've seen all year. Walking into the club on Friday night felt different from any other visit to Diva's, which is usually under-crowded with fuckless dimwitted locals and suspicious looking lesbians. Even best friend Linda Mac (pictured at right, wearing Marciano with Erin Kenney at left, wearing vintage), a Northampton resident who is totally over it, remarked on the high sophistication of dress. Many even fuckable, we both admitted.

As for the show itself, my favorite looks included a beautiful 1970s floor-length silk print housedress in yellow, orange, red and navy-blue in the manner of Ossie Clark. Sarah Z (pictured) wore a delicious Hermes-orange, hippy-era minidress with thigh-high slouch leather boots, looking like a Mucha girl wearing Mary Quant. I also liked a black and white striped cape worn by the other model Sarah (pictured), but mostly due to my recent semi-obsession with capes, ponchos, and tunics, and because the model resembled Bernadette Peters.

Dancing followed, as well as several sexy drinks, flirty glances, leading to eventual rubbings-up-against with attractive strangers. They played pop dancejams from Britney, Fergie, Soldier Boy, and Sean Kingston mixed with 80's ladies Madonna, Salt-n-Pepa, and the Go-go's. Sid certainly can throw a party, and he certainly likes to throw confetti. At the end of the night, even if Northampton's style and party reputation wavers inconsistently, Sid Vintage's show solidified their fashion integrity and was, after all, a thoroughly fabulous spectacle.

The coming weekend and its various partying

On Friday night I've made plans to sashay up to Northampton, MA to go to Sid Vintage's fashion show at Diva's Nightclub. I'm told there will be DJs, $1 drafts, and fabulous door prizes. Sid runs the very reputable vintage clothing boutique in downtown Northampton where you can often stumble across antique couture as well as shitty t-shirts that are just the right sort of shitty. They are responsible in part for the unexpectedly well-dressed citizens of Northampton - Western New England's hideout for hipster dropouts/retired rock stars. Fashion inspiration and sometimes Sully's bartender Sarah Z will be modeling, which should draw a sizable faction of Hartford's finest up north.

On Saturday night, I shall bring it to Sweet Jane's for the Metromix launch party, which is supposedly a big deal, although I don't know who or what that is, but I'd like them to prove it. Amanda R and I have discussed it, and we've made plans to proposition metromix in the bathroom if we think they're cute.

NO-MAD II - SATURDAY.

No one should miss this opening on Saturday afternoon for the No-Mad II show at the Design Center in Parkville this Saturday afternoon. The exhibition is being held inside an unused, unfinished warehouse which is cavernous and stunning. The art works will be on view during the daytime to make use of the natural light since no lighting has been installed. Basically these artists (myself included) are squatting in an old factory for a month because no one else will show or sell our work.

The opening itself will probably be a polite affair with wine and crudite served, chatting and visiting with the artists, and also occasional climbs to the roof deck for views of Hartford and the rolling hills and valleys of Connecticut beyond. Last year No-Mad was a great day in my memory: crisp autumn weather, a pleasant afternoon wine buzz, and falling madly for the view and thinking that Hartford didn't look so bad from that vantage point, from that particular party.

The No-Mad II after party is going to be debauched madness. Brian Friedberg has been planning this party for a month or two and from what I've heard and seen it could be one of the best parties of the year. It's going to be hosted by Barca which is a restaurant/bar about to open in the same building, on the first floor. DJ Rizzla and DJ m@l will be spinning and supposedly local heartthrobs Pop Tart and friends have promised to breakdance and do burlesque. Actually, this party is fail proof simply because everyone will have been drinking all day anyway, flirting with the young attractive culturati, and getting in the mood with provocative works of contemporary art. The after party is a guaranteed success and I can't wait.

No-Mad II
1429 Park Street, 2nd Floor
Hartford, CT

October 6 - 28, 2007
Opening reception: Saturday, October 6, 3-6pm
Featuring: Yusuke Imanishi Quartet 4:30pm

Gallery Hours:
Saturday, Sunday 1-5pm
www.sodoproject.com

ARTISTS: Linda Abadjian, Greg Bailey, Emily Cappa, Joe Dal Pra, Sam Ekwurtzel, Sarah Foley, Hirokazu Fukawa, Gene Gort, Maria Gabriela Galarza-Block, Larissa Hall, Ann Holley, Steven Holmes, Ian Keoppen, Adam Machose, Sam McKinniss, Colin McMullan, Kristina Newman-Scott, Rebecca Parker, Caleb Portfolio, Dave Sinaguglia, Ari Tabei, Matthew Weber; CURATED BY: Maria Gabriela Galarza-Block and Hirokazu Fukawa

Ellen and Dustin have a birthday party

Ellen rules. Dustin's mustache rules. This will be held at the infamous Evergreen on Saturday night. It should be fun. I don't think I'll be able to make it until late, but I am still planning on going.