Goodbye Lacey Nevers, cutest girl in Connecticut.

To help send Lacey Nevers on her way off to Los Angeles, tonight the best of the best are going to sing karaoke at Bowlorama for a while and then I guess we're all going to some bar. I'm really depressed that she's leaving and I don't want to talk about it right now. Come sing goodbye to Lacey Nevers.

Oh yeah - before I go to that I have to go to another farewell party for Laura Madin because she got a job teaching at Harvard and she's moving to Cambridge. Hartford gets an 'F' for retention, especially for letting such high quality rad babes just leave. And I also just wanted to add that the boy in this picture is a geek and I hope I don't know him because I've about had it with distressed denim.

BRIGHT YOUNG THINGS.

There were several celebrations this weekend all over the place and I made it to most of them. Prior to that I had a rather dull week of unconvincing partying with weak crowds and too much shitty beer. Recently, I can't help but notice the rate of frequent, unnecessary, and embarrassing party violence on the increase. Spitting, bitching, name-calling, accusations, starting shit... just when it was starting to go so well! I turned to Matthew at a house party Thursday night, after watching one of the most pathetic displays I can recall seeing among friends, and remarked that it was doubtful that the room's mood could rally after suffering such ridiculousness.

This is why I was glad to go to so many meaningful and above-average get-togethers over the weekend. Friday night was Matthew's last night in town before he moves temporarily to London so I took him out for beers and then met up with our neighbors for more drinks, cigars, and greasy talk. Shag Frenzy's Derek and Sara were out as well and it was nice dishing with them and discussing plans for next season.

Saturday night we feted Kristina Newman-Scott and Rehema Barber who each had birthdays, at a private residence in Windsor. The theme was classic Summer garden party meets Jamaican barbecue, which seemed a natural marriage. An ex-lover, Brian Friedberg, deejayed all night which was fun to hear since he's quite good, with tastes ranging broadly from "Young Folks" to Young Jeezy. It would be nice to see someone with so much verve and ambition host a regular club gig, or at least have a hand in party production, which he hinted was a real possibility nearer to 2008.

Later that night I stopped at a house re-warming party for old friend James Allen in West Hartford where he lives now that he's no longer on tour with Texas-based pop group, Play Radio Play, or Connecticut hxc band Life In Your Way. It was fun to knock back PBR's with James as well as bask in the heavenly light emanating from Sam and Stacey Swanson, also in attendance. And of course, it was reassuring to see that people still love beerpong.

On Sunday afternoon, I went to longtime BFF Linda Mac's pool party at her parents' house in Kensington. We grilled fake meat, caught up on gossip, and watched in disbelieving horror at the frightening number of reckless children running around the pool. Cousins mostly, I was told.

After that I met up with new roommate J Tragni to tour the West Hartford apartment now being rented by Alison and Taylor, speaking of reckless children. I only envision the most outrageously decadent student parties being hosted by this non-lesbian couple over the coming school year. My two favorite crushes were there, CJ Day and Skylar Hughes (pictured), the latter just stopping in before jetting off to Rome where he'll be studying art. We will surely miss your beautiful face, Mr. Hughes, you bright young thing.

SEXY TAG SALE

These people are cute.

Since my photographer Matthew has been vacationing in Montauk for what seems to be an extravagant eternity, I haven't had any party pictures for about a week and a half. So, in lieu of posting Matt's photos exclusive to this blog, I've searched up and down the internet looking for the cutest people seen lately.

I only see this couple when I go to Sweet Jane's (where I went on Saturday), which probably means that they have great salaries and only go out to eat at restaurants that I cannot afford. Regardless, I think they are the cutest things ever and it's taken me about a year to finally accept the fact that they are an item. I think thats because no matter what he does, that guy is going to look about 17 years old probably for his entire life, and thats what makes him so adorable, in a Zac Efron kind of way. By contrast she looks like she calls the shots in this relationship, even though she's smart enough to make him feel like he's the man of the house. This is the new gender paradigm and that's hot. There photo was taken by LowBrow on Saturday night.


I've been meaning to write about this next sighting since last week at the second-to-last ever Hump Party at BK's on August 8th. There are at least three reasons why this is the cutest outfit I've seen all summer.
1. Big t-shirt dresses rule.
2. Ellen has cinched the t-shirt to her waist with a simple pink ribbon, the understated fashion accessory that's been cool since pre-colonial days.
3. Civic pride in Hartford is not only ironic and tasteless, but its actually starting to make sense and show up on the street level. This is a terrible place to live, but every time you go out looking cute, it helps reverse that terrible feeling of being stuck in a dead-end city, and lets people know that the future is not doomed.

Back to this weekend, on Friday night at my publicist's housewarming party in Harlem, I had the pleasure of meeting dashing young Tanner from The Guts, which if everybody doesn't start loving them in the next week and if someone doesn't book them a show in Hartford before 2009 I'm going to be furious.

In other news, there's a farewell party weekend being planned for Lacey Nevers coming up at the end of the week which details will be announced here soon, as well as a private birthday BBQ, and my best friend's pool party on Sunday.

The Savannah Report and Tonight's Plans.

So I'm back from Savannah, but I've still got Georgia on my mind. I was treated so kindly and I feel so grateful to have went. This is a short round-up of why I believe Savannah is such a southern belle: Savannah is a place where attractive boys and girls aren't afraid to look good, and there seem to be a lot of them at every turn. There wasn't that angry bitch at every party making fun, causing trouble, or looking like Avril because in a place like Savannah, a bitch gets called out for that kind of behavior. The Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) is spread out around the city and their student body is young, fun, creative, and fashionable. Unlike the Hartford Art School, SCAD invests serious capitol into its city, and is part of the reason why downtown Savannah is a destination for art, culture, history, shopping, eating, and partying. It's a place where you can go to a bar thats open until 3 or 4am and never get tired or bored. Famous part-time residents include Marc Jacobs, John Berendt, Paula Deen, and some crazy witch who casts spells at the graveyard at nighttime. I would say that as a small city, Hartford could learn a lot from Savannah, but up North we're much too self-righteous I guess to take time to notice how good Southerners have it made in a lot of respects.

I could write about this for hours, but all I'm here to say is that there is a party at Sully's tonight, hosted by the Humped Crew, and I'm skeptical, but it might be fun. I really hate Sully's but apparently other people like it. My friend Sarah Z works at the bar on Tuesdays, which is the only real draw for me because she is such a fashion inspiration and a pleasure to converse with on issues pertaining to style. Speaking of style, I think it would have been a good idea to rename the Hump Party and lay the old party to rest. I would hate to see a night's good name tarnished but in hard times, its better to rally support and be positive rather than to bitch and complain like that Avril look-alike would do.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

For all my readers down south, I just bought a plane ticket to Savannah, Georgia so I can hang out with my best boy Ross and my best girl Chelsea. I'm making my Georgia debut Thursday night, and I'm looking forward to it. I won't be around until Monday, but I will probably post something anyway.

I did hear about one party for Friday night that an old acquaintance is hosting on Beacon Street. I would have gone if I were in town, but oh well. If anyone goes and has a good time, let me know because I'm interested.

The BK's summer miracle.

So, on Sunday I was told that Big Kahonies on Park Road in West Hartford was going out of business and closing its doors affective immediately. This meant that the best weekly dance party of the summer, the Hump Party, which I have written about repeatedly was facing the rough prospect of trying to find a new venue. Their demise seemed imminent and tragic.

Imagine my surprise then, when today at around 4pm I heard rumors that the owner had struck a deal with Brent, Tiffany, and Lacey to keep the bar open exclusively for the Hump Party crew on Wednesday nights for the remainder of August "to clear out the liquor inventory and try and make a few bucks." At around 4:30pm this rumor was ecstatically verified by Lacey herself.

So tomorrow night Hartford's finest will descend on the newly defunct Mexican tequila bar to ride out the rest of the Summer in a blaze of glorious debauchery. If you haven't been to a Hump Party, I cannot urge you strongly enough. This is going to be good, its going to be wild, and I cannot wait to see how sexy it gets. There's also a special party, "humped birthday edition" on Saturday night, which they are hosting in honor of Pat Kennedy and Sammy from Schnozola.

Disappointing weekend, through and through.

Absolutely no one had any fun in Hartford as far as I could tell this weekend, and here it is Monday: bored, deserted, and hapless all over again. While key players like Brent, Alice, Matthew, and Jamie left town this weekend either to escape the hustle and bustle up north in scenic Vermont, or to visit down south the exciting promises of New York, the rest of us tried hard to keep the dream alive.

Granted, there were some highlights. Metronomy at Sweet Janes on Friday night was a really fun band who played a good show. They were quirky and quick-witted, playing delightfully complex robo-pop songs at a venue that usually would have been perfect, had it not been more or less empty. Their live show was a bit like imagining Devo today (with a whiff of Klaus Nomi) but more digital disco innuendo and less punk immaturity.

Saturday's highlight was a friend's house party which was kind of a yawn with a lacking crowd until two of us decided to risk death by driving to NY Chicken & Biscuits on Farmington Avenue to pick up a bucket of fried chicken and macaroni and cheese. We brought the goods back to the party and binged alone on the bare floor of my friend's bedroom. Later, drunk and unenthused, I walked around shirtless and shoeless with a beer in one hand and a chicken breast in the other trying to feed mortified strangers delicious chicken out of my greasy hand.

Elsewhere in the desperate humidity this weekend nothing really happened. All except for a few truly embarrassing encounters had by others which I promised to keep off of this blog. Though we tried to go out, have fun, make out, have sex, fall in love, and party through it, we could not find the satisfying heat of passion to match the sweltering heat of Summer.

Wadsworth tonight: pathetic, and parties tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night Jamie, Matt, and I plus whoever else I can find are going to make our way over to Sweet Janes on Pratt Street for Shag Frenzy. They are hosting Metronomy from London who I am told is a lot of fun, quite a bit like The Guts, D. Gookin, or a little bit of Devo, etc. The cover is $5 and I'll probably show up at around 10:30, and I expect to see some good dancing. I'd like to stop by Chez Est in the south end to see if I can't catch a little bit of Frenchie Davis' performance. She was the only good thing that ever showed up on American Idol a few years ago and was kicked off of the show because she had a porn past, if you can recall. Fast forward to now and her career has skyrocketed since then as you can plainly see, because she's doing a gig at the Chez - go figure. I don't know what time she's going on but I would LOVE to see her even if it means wading through an endless miasma of Hartford gays at our city's "premier" gay establishment.

Tonight, Ellen Carey and I went down to the Wadsworth Atheneum for Phoenix After Hours, the monthly cocktail party hosted by the venerable art museum, located downtown. It was nothing short of horrific. I don't even know where to begin, but I guess I can start with this: Take a world-class art museum, located in the wealthiest state in the country. Add an art collection ranked in the top 10 best collections in the US, and then throw a party within its hallowed galleries with music, booze, food, and invite the fun/art-hungry public. This sounds like a fool-proof recipe for success. Unfortunately, what I came across this evening with only high hopes, was far from what I expected. The travesty extended beyond irony to embarrassment, shame, and eventually "get me the hell out of here now." As Ellen and I were rushed past the ticket line to enter the museum and into the courtyard where music, bar, and food were located, I immediately knew something was wrong. At first glance, it looked like the happy hour crowd gathered after a long day's work at The Hartford, Aetna, or some other completely boring office in Hartford. Then I saw the food. Perhaps I am a snob, it's been brought to my attention that I am, but I honestly believe that the oldest art museum in America can afford better catering than Subway (eat fresh). Then there was the music, provided by "the glamour girls." The only way to describe "the glamour girls" is three recently divorced career women wearing wigs and matching sequined tops, chasing a dream that should have died with their 20's, singing karaoke, backed by a band of balding 55-year-old losers clad exclusively in Hawaiian shirts, dockers, and sneakers. I hope the Amistad Collection's curator was as disgusted as I when they hired three white suburban moms to do piss-poor covers of Thelma Houston, Diana Ross, and Roberta Flack.

I try to remember that the Wadsworth hosted such groundbreaking events as Robert Rauschenberg's first solo museum show sometime in the 1960s, Mierle Ukeles' radical feminist performance art pieces in the early 1970s, or Robert Mapplethorpe's controversial "The Perfect Moment" without major protest in the 1980s. Then I try to remember that most of the leadership at the museum has quit in the last year which might explain such poor performance. But as an artist living in Hartford its more than a little disheartening to see our hometown gem of a museum being used for such a garishly tasteless cocktail party. Especially knowing that New York museums can pull this sort of thing off almost effortlessly, and they do, and they are among the most hip, most fun events in town.

Thankfully, SOMEONE is doing something right in Hartford, as I was reminded of last night at Big Kahonie's in West Hartford for the Hump Party. The DJs (Party Time and Chocolate Chip) are right on time, with music coming from a vintage that everybody seems to be itching to hear at this particular moment. I haven't heard Quad City DJ's "C'mon N' Ride The Train" since I was 11 until last night, but I guess I hadn't remembered what I was missing. The remix of Paul Simon's "You can call me Al" was a welcome treat as well. The bartenders kept the bar open illegally for an extra hour, clothing disappeared during Jermaine Stewart's "we don't have to take our clothes off...", Poptart proved that he is the best dancer and hottest new heartthrob we've seen lately (pictured), and no one could believe they were having that much fun on a Wednesday. A big party is being planned next week for the 11th so stay tuned. I will hopefully have pictures from last night posted on here soon.

"Last Tremont Party Ever" party pictures

We marked the passing of Alice, Uncle Dave, and Kristin's lease last Thursday night at the Tremont house, their residence for the past year. The feeling in the air was bittersweet as we said goodbye to one of the best party houses ever, and toasted the three who lived there, acknowledging their accomplishment and major contribution to the nightlife of Hartford. The regular set were all in attendance, plus two or three notables who came up from out of town for the evening, including favorites Kevin Kelly and CJ Day. Below are pictures from one particularly juicy moment that evening when a bunch of us decided to defile Uncle's bedroom. (Pictures were taken on Matt's camera, but I don't remember who took them since he's in quite a few of them. The most erotic shots have been omitted to protect whatever dignity and privacy we have left.)

GOOD NEWS: THE HUMP PARTY IS ON.

Tonight, Lacey Brent and Tiffany throw another hump party and its going to be good. They almost canceled and disbanded after quarreling over minor creative differences, but now they're here, they're queer, get used to it.

Speaking of queer, last night I had the misfortune of walking over to Tisane for boys' night with old crush Joe Santos. It was crowded, the house remixes were blaring, and not even the record high humidity could keep them from pumping in tons of fake smoke. To make a long, uninteresting story short, here's my checklist. The gays: embarrassing, the music: cliche, the drinks: uninspired, the fog: suffocating, and later; the subsequent hookup: lackluster and ultimately disappointing. My prescription for Tisane is to do something basic and original. Cut the Euro-Asian bistro shit, hire a real life mixologist if martinis are going to be your specialty, and provide a comfortable, alternative, creative nightspot that is in service of the gay community, not exploitative of tired gay stereotypes.