Update: The Hartford Courant Needs to Shut Up.

UGHHHHHHHH! I would just like to direct everyone's attention to this really disturbing article today in the Courant's Life section. Joann Klimkiewicz wrote a really terrible profile of Tuesday-nights at Tisane, which she misspelled over and over again, "Boys Night" (there is no "z" in "boys" no matter how gay you are.). She also interviewed their DJ John Rzasa, who is a real twerp, although by no fault of his own probably. I guess this answers my previous question, wondering whether or not the newspaper was gay. I have to believe that if a gay man edited this, he would have been at least slightly outraged. I really hate Tisane but I go all the time because its the only real lounge within walking distance, and a lot of other people like it. However, I just cannot tolerate how people LOVE boys night. It's sub-par, it's not fabulous, and the only reason to go is out of curiosity or if I'm just fucking DESPERATE to see some other gay men. In the following paragraphs I will quote selections of the most heinous excerpts from this article in normal case followed by commentary in red italics. Ahem...

"TUESDAYS AT TISANE'S" By Joann Klimkiewicz, photo by Shana Sureck

"There's no sense of place here [in Hartford], no unifying character. But let's stop to consider: Is that hype true, or is it a convenient myth we've bought into? I can settle this right here and now - it's true, Joann. We're on a hunt to find out, meeting the people who haven't given up on Hartford and who aren't looking to politicians and public figures to make this star rise. Oh, good thing you stopped at Tisane then... I mean, I've never been able to find a decent date there, never mind someone who can make Hartford a great place to live. But by all means, go ahead and look. I'm sure I'm just being too picky and there's a really attractive, educated, creative, ambitious, witty, non-creepy great guy just under my nose and I haven't noticed yet. "Someone who can make this star rise?" what is that, a pickup sex line? And why shouldn't we look to politicians and public figures to make this a better place? We fucking elected them to do just that!

"All told, and by the time things really get going, the whole affair clocks in at less than two hours. But in that wee sliver of time, John Rzasa and his Tuesday-night followers pack in a lot. 'It's really short. But that hour and a half makes my week,' says Rzasa, 28. 'Because, really, I'm not trying to do anything here. no kidding Like, I have no agenda... don't you think the writer could have omitted the word "like" from his statement or did she want to make sure that everyone knew that Mr. Rzasa is a gay man. And why do gays always have agendas?!? Does everyone just assume that because he's gay he must have some insidious hidden agenda? I just want people to come here with a big smile on their face, go get their drinks and get out on the dance floor...'

"...Right about now is a good time to clarify: You neither have to be a boy, nor gay, to party on Boyz (sic) Night. Oh phew, I was beginning to worry...

"'The energy here is better than anywhere else. There's a real mix of people," [Rzasa] says, scanning the packed room of regulars-- men in sweet-smelling cologne; college kids clustered around a table; a pair of African American girls who could pass for twin sisters because they're black, one reapplying her lip gloss as the other sips a pink-colored cocktail." it's called a cosmopolitan, you virgin.

"'It's like... Hartford needs a shoulder to cry on,' says city native Nestor Nieves, 23, taking a dance break in the cold of the parking lot. Wearing a striped, dark Yankees hat cocked fashionably to the side Fashionably? What?! And enough with the gay cock jokes..., he squints his dark eyes from behind trendy glasses ugggggh! as he searches for the words to explain."

"...The crowd emits a sigh of recognition that seems to say, 'Yes! This is my song!' Such as when Rzasa plays Alicia Keys' new single, 'No One.' They sing like it's their own personal anthem Oh God, gays always have anthems., dance as if stars in their own music videos, feeling every lyric as if they wrote it themselves. Please for the love of God, stop portraying gay men as the most narcissistic, immature, infantile, inconsequential human beings on Earth. I know that the Tisane variety might be like that, but please God, it's because of pithy statements like this one that nobody takes us seriously, and why most homos are destined for middle-management, low-end retail, or musical theater. I mean, getting back to the writer's original stated goal, how are these faggots going to change Hartford into a nice place to live if they're all stuck in their own self-obsessed, material girl world? For a moment in time, the music transforms this space, these people -- an improbable mix of Hartford's faces serenading each other, Rzasa smiling his sunny smile from behind his DJ console. Tonight, he has no other agenda but that." Thank God, I thought these fellas might get organized and demand something substantial like some equal marriage rights. Nope- just Alicia Keys. This article sucks.